I GOT A BIT FED UP WITH THE BLUE BACKGROUND SO I THOUGHT I WOULD TRY YELLOW!!!
GROOOOOOOOVVVYYY BABY YAEH!!!!!
Bill Clinton must be the biggest liar in the world. So I think he deserves this…
Bill and the Pope die on the same day. By accident St Peter sends them to the wrong places. Bill goes to heaven and the Pope goes to hell. God, realising there's been a dreadful mistake, sends St Peter down to hell to brings the Pope up to heaven. St Peter finds the Pope and takes him onto the escalator to heaven -- where halfway up they meet Bill and start to talk.
"I'm glad it's all a mistake", says the Pope, "At last I'll be able to realise my dream of meeting the Virgin Mary.
"You're five minutes too late!," replied Bill.
The White House Said...
Today, the White House released the following statement: "All President Clinton did was to offer Paula Jones and Monica Lewinsky jobs. There is no hard evidence of any wrongdoing and it will never stand up in court. The thing has been blown out of all proportion and the sooner we can straighten it out, the better."
In the Land of Oz.
Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and Newt Gingrich were on Air Force One travelling overseas when the pilot indicated that they were going to make an unscheduled stop of fifteen minutes in the Land of Oz.
All three became very excited and deplaned after Air Force One Landed. At the airport, they met the Wizard of Oz - who granted each one wish.
Gingrich said "Hey everybody, now I can get a heart."
Gore said "Hey everybody, now I can get a brain."
Clinton said "Fifteen minutes... where is Dorothy?"
The County Fair
At a country fair, where farmers trade items instead of buying and selling (to avoid tax), President Clinton, Hillary and Chelsea landed in an Marine Helicopter.
Hillary and Chelsea decided to stay, but Clinton had to leave. But on his way to the Helicopter, he had to take 2 pigs that his wife and daughter had been given as a gift from the farmers at the Fair.
The Marine saluted him as he boarded the Helicopter and said, "Sir! Nice pigs, Sir!"
Clinton said, "You think so? I got this one for Hillary, and I got this one for Chelsea."
The Marine saluted him again and said, "Sir! Nice trade, Sir!"
One day, Clinton called the White House interior decorator into the Oval Office. He was very furious and said, "Chelsea is very upset because she thinks she has the ugliest room in the entire White House; I want something done about it immediately!"
"Yes Sir, Mr. President," the interior decorator replies.
"I'll take those mirrors out right away!"
Clinton is shaking hands with voters. "Pleased to meet you," says one old man, "I've heard a lot about you."
Clinton laughs: "But you can't prove any of it!"
Famous presidential quotes
Lincoln: "Four score and seven years ago...."
JFK: "Ich bin ein Berliner"
Nixon: "I am not a crook"
Reagan: "Tear down that wall, Mr. Gorbachev"
Clinton: "Suck my dick"
MORE JOKES IF YOU WISH, JUST CLICK HERE